Imagine

I never ever expected that this beautiful creature that came into my life, last summer, would cause me now, such pain.
I don't know whether it's her fault or me being too sensitive. But it's like, last year never happened. The moments in bed making love, listening to music, looking each other in the eyes....did all this happen?
You know, I am trying to get better. To leave her out my life. She is still here. She tries to be care-free when she talks to me. On the other hand, I am trying to see her side. She says it's hard for her too. But that doesn't stop me from getting angry from some of her sms. Last night she sent "Now that you are gone, I will have to get a pet". I was so mad at her. It wasn't my choice to leave. She made me leave, by her not responding sexually. Having said nothing, I am sure we would still be together. As what? Probably as an "imaginary couple". Who am I kidding...?

So now, you might wonder "why are you still unhappy since you know that this wasn't going anywhere?". Well, I miss having a partner.

I was just thinking. I am not in the mood of doing anything with anyone. Not that I like someone. I am not even sure whether I like men or women. Plus she is still around ( are 3 months after a 9 month relationship, the normal amount of time you need to forget?).
But I only thought. I would be -that will be a miracle- with a guy if he was nothing like the usual I know, if he was serious but with a sense of humor, sensitive but powerful, cute but "manly", clever but not "smart ass".
I then would be with a woman, if she was something out of this world i.e Angelina Jolie ( ok laugh lol).
Anyway...as you can see, I am still in a still mood...