Still Life

This is the summer of hell. Although I meet my friends, do thinks, have a good time at the beach every week still....she is around!
How did things end up like that? Why does she insist on us being friends after breaking up?
Doesn't she get it? Well she is no stupid. Of course her point of view is that when two women with no previous similar experiences, break up, it's only natural to go on and become friends.
I won't argue. But for me apparently, this isn't working. It's been almost 3 months since telling her to break up and I still have intense feelings. This must mean something.
Anyway, last night there was this huge row. I ended up yelling at her. And today I don't want to talk to her for a long long time.
Why is this happening to me? Don't I deserve to be happy?
My therapist two days ago asked me, what would make me happy.
I don't have the slightest idea.
I told her I am not happy in my country, I feel as there is no challenge. Which is true.
All is the same and honestly I don't have the strenght to find new people with interests as to find something stimulating.
And she turned and said "Why don't you leave then? 30 is not too late".
Was she serious?
This must mean something...