Waiting...

I went to the therapist today. Told her I am confused because I don't know why I keep insisting to get back with my ex ( first time i am writing it). Do I really want her back? Do I just miss the companion? Shall I start seeing guys? And why am I insisting on something that will have an end for sure? After some months, maybe a year. And then I will be almost 32 and panicked that I haven't gotten serious with a guy.

She asked me if I considered starting dating guys. No, I really don't want to. My heart, body and soul are all set to the the ex.

The funny thing is I don't know why. The ex doesn't know what she wants from me, I keep asking her, she never answers. She does not want to leave my life and yesterday she said "Yes I am still in love and yes there are moments where I don't see you as a friend". And she keeps me hanging on ( as the song says). 

So where does that leave me? In waiting.

But the question is : Is it worth it? And what do I really need?

Too many questions, none is answered.

I am too confused to find these answers. 

I leave this to Time. It's his/her job to show me the way. 

I cannot do it. Not by myself and not now.