"I quit. Don't you ever dare try to contact me again". An a sms at 1am last night.
I haven't written for more than a week. There was nothing important going on. There was also a trip so I was away.
So she never stayed out of my life as I requested. But the fault was mine. Not only did I let her in, I was hoping that in a magical way she would change and we would be happy together again. As if!
She came with me, to my trip to see some friends of hers. She knew I had a schedule, but she insisted on seeing me. I was intrigued by this attitute...would it be possible that she wanted us to be together again? I was troubled but at the same time I was hoping that she was going to come back to me. I was trying the whole time to touch her, to hug, to kiss....I am so used to this trying...these past months have only being this. It's horrible believe me.
One night we were at a club. She said something about a guy, I asked if she would hit on him if I wasn't there. She laughed and said " of course not, we are together". What? I turned smiling. She smiled back with this wicked way. She corrected her self " Well, that slipped out of my mouth but subconcsciously we are together". Oh I got so pissed! What do you mean subconsciously?? oh come on! I stayed away from her for half an hour. I couln't believe my ears. She was playing with me again. And not only did she do that, but she got mad at me for being angry. And as a fool I tried to calm her down.
So you see...this wasn't a moment I will be proud of. And many others.
Last night we went to this concert. With her best friend. I was very ok with this whole situation. But then I was noticing she was more with her than with me. Oh well....
We went out, she was walking in front of me with her friend. And I was left behind. God...was this happening to me? She took me first to my place, her friend second. She didn't even try to take me home last so she would see me a bit, or even come up.
So I smsed her "you could've tried to take me home last. I just quit trying with you".
Her reply ? " I am tired of your self centred love"!
Self centred? Not wanting to be a number 2 for a person I have as my number 1? For a person that keeps teasing and encouraging me with her words that there is a thing going between us?
So I sent the sms...
She never replied back.
I hope she keeps it that way. Because I don't need this in my life.
I deserve more. I deserve love , respect and happiness.
I haven't written for more than a week. There was nothing important going on. There was also a trip so I was away.
So she never stayed out of my life as I requested. But the fault was mine. Not only did I let her in, I was hoping that in a magical way she would change and we would be happy together again. As if!
She came with me, to my trip to see some friends of hers. She knew I had a schedule, but she insisted on seeing me. I was intrigued by this attitute...would it be possible that she wanted us to be together again? I was troubled but at the same time I was hoping that she was going to come back to me. I was trying the whole time to touch her, to hug, to kiss....I am so used to this trying...these past months have only being this. It's horrible believe me.
One night we were at a club. She said something about a guy, I asked if she would hit on him if I wasn't there. She laughed and said " of course not, we are together". What? I turned smiling. She smiled back with this wicked way. She corrected her self " Well, that slipped out of my mouth but subconcsciously we are together". Oh I got so pissed! What do you mean subconsciously?? oh come on! I stayed away from her for half an hour. I couln't believe my ears. She was playing with me again. And not only did she do that, but she got mad at me for being angry. And as a fool I tried to calm her down.
So you see...this wasn't a moment I will be proud of. And many others.
Last night we went to this concert. With her best friend. I was very ok with this whole situation. But then I was noticing she was more with her than with me. Oh well....
We went out, she was walking in front of me with her friend. And I was left behind. God...was this happening to me? She took me first to my place, her friend second. She didn't even try to take me home last so she would see me a bit, or even come up.
So I smsed her "you could've tried to take me home last. I just quit trying with you".
Her reply ? " I am tired of your self centred love"!
Self centred? Not wanting to be a number 2 for a person I have as my number 1? For a person that keeps teasing and encouraging me with her words that there is a thing going between us?
So I sent the sms...
She never replied back.
I hope she keeps it that way. Because I don't need this in my life.
I deserve more. I deserve love , respect and happiness.
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